


Never Left the Ground

by 131DI



Category: Wreck-It Ralph (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Semi-Public Sex, i wrote this in 2012, that seems to be a running thing with them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 03:38:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16736373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/131DI/pseuds/131DI
Summary: Calhoun doesn’t always have the best ideas. Another unexpected suggestion, this time for a risky go inside the shuttle hangar, ends up in disaster for the both of them, with plenty of sore bits to go around.





	Never Left the Ground

Even in his foulest moods, the worst word Felix could use to describe it would be something lenient. Staying on the positive side of things did wonders for him. Stress was something Felix actively tried to avoid, and was good at doing so on most days. Taking a little time to himself cleared up any negativity he felt, and he would be right back on track with his usual schedule. Keeping his problems to himself and quickly solving them kept him happy and bright, and ready to help others do the same thing.

Now, however, was not one of those times.

Sitting up to the bar at Tapper’s was probably the last place in the arcade he wanted to be, but it hadn’t exactly been up for a vote to come to the busy pub. On either side of him were the gratingly loud and raucous members of sergeant Calhoun’s squadron, happily pounding down drink after drink. Arguing with them proved to be fruitless, and they literally dragged him to the game for a beer. It wouldn’t be so bad if not for the subject they were fixated on that evening.

“So how’d you woo the sarge, huh?”

One of the soldiers - his nameplate read ‘JENKINS’ - sat next to Felix and nudged him with his elbow.

“I-it’s really none of your business,” said Felix. He wasn’t feeling up for this discussion at all.

“Ahh, come on. There’s gotta be some kinda secret you can share with us, little man.”

Felix sighed and looked at the honey brown liquid in his mug. Maybe he should drink it, after all. It’d probably be the only way to deal with these soldiers, in the end.

“I just… shot down some cy-bugs and kept her from being eaten,” he finally said, then took a sip.

“Whoa. You saved sarge?” That seemed to catch the attention of some of the other troopers, as they clustered closer around Felix at the bar.

“Guess there’s more t’you than meets the eye,” one of them admitted.

Felix almost smiled.

“So whose idea was it to screw in the shuttle?”

_Nevermind._ He groaned. “Gentlemen, please-”

A huge hand heartily slapped Felix on the back, and he nearly spilled his drink down his front. Another soldier - this one’s nameplate read ‘GREEN’ - leaned forward on the counter between him and Jenkins.

“None of us even got close. But man," he guffawed, "the sarge is a babe. Nice score.”

Felix’s gaze snapped up, and he fixed the soldier with a disapproving stare.

“Now hold on just a minute,” he said. “You will not talk about Tamora like that while I’m around! Frightfully intimidating she may be, she is a lady, and you will treat her as such. You fellas should know better.”

Green’s eye roll was rather dismissive, but he laughed out an ‘all right’ all the same.

Felix set his chin in his palm and rested his elbow on the counter. It started as a silly suggestion, made mostly to make Felix squirm. Sneak into the hangar during off hours, find an empty shuttle, and get up to a little mischief. Tamora insisted on it, and eventually convinced Felix to play along, though it’d taken a bit of… playful persuasion. Saying ‘no’ to her was difficult when she pulled that card, not that he really wanted to. Most of the time, anyway. And truthfully, it’d been going well…

-

“Jeepers,” Felix said, looking over the shuttle. It was bigger than one of the escape pods. “Whenever you heard about this kind of thing, it was always just a car.”

Tamora shot him an amused over-the-shoulder look. “Familiar with this, Fix-It?”

“N-no, I just… I know of it.”

She popped the canopy and hopped inside, hoisting herself up with her toned arms. Felix jumped up to follow her shortly after, and was abruptly yanked into a kiss. No matter where they were, he loved those kisses. Warm lips, a soft touch, a firm but gentle hold… He almost missed the canopy’s hiss as it closed above them, sealing out the cold, musty air of the hangar. Inside it was just him and his beautiful gal, cuddled close and cozy.

“What say we warm this place up, soldier?” said Tamora, tugging the hem of Felix’s shirt out from behind his belt.

“Yes ma’am,” said Felix dreamily.

Tamora’s hands were a bit chilly against his skin, but he didn’t mind. He’d gotten used to it, and considering the atmosphere of Hero’s Duty, it made enough sense. When you spent all day in a cold place, you got a little chilled, yourself. Quite the opposite of the pleasant warmth of Fix-It Felix, Jr., which had a quality similar to that of a summer night. Never colder, never hotter, and it was perfect for sleeping with your window open.

“Are you absolutely sure nobody’s going to come looking for us?” asked Felix as he straddled Tamora’s lap.

“Nope,” she said bluntly.

Felix sort of admired her love for taking chances. He was cautious in his approach to more… risqué activities such as this one, and there was no doubt that he was a much more private individual than Tamora. She was introducing all sorts of interesting new activities into his life, and he was willing to try almost anything reasonable at least once. For now, though, Felix was happy to smother her in kisses. Her forehead, her nose, cheeks, lips, chin, down her neck… he heard her chuckle softly under her breath, and he smiled. Making her laugh was one of the little pleasures in life.

“Mmm… hey, Fix-It.”

Felix kissed above her right breast, then looked up.

“You think you could talk dirty for me?”

If one were to peer inside Felix’s mind at that moment, they would find it sounded remarkably like someone had left the phone off the hook.

“Dirty? Like… like what?”

“How about something like… how badly you want to fuck me?”

Felix gasped, taken aback.

“Or maybe something about how I make you hard.”

Tamora went for Felix’s belt, quickly freeing him up for her to grab. It was just enough to distract him from the startling string of obscenities, and he finally choked out a word.

“Tamora!”

“Yes?”

“Where did you… that’s… I’ve _never_ heard a lady talk like that before,” he said meekly.

“I’m a marine,” was her response, low and seductive. “We’re a little dirty. Comes with the job.”

“And you want me to talk to you like that?” said Felix, incredulous. “But that… that’s terrible! It’s disrespectful!”

Tamora quirked an eyebrow. “It’s not disrespectful if I’m asking for it.”

“But… I couldn’t do that, Tamora.”

“Sure you could.”

“…I don’t want to.”

Felix couldn’t lie; hearing her talk like that, while surprising, had sent a spike of pleasure down to his core. All that… _naughty_ language shouldn’t have done that, but it did. Most likely, he relented, because both statements were true. He just wouldn’t have worded them the way she did. Geez, he’d never said anything that started with an ‘f’ that was worse than ‘fiddlesticks.’ And he most certainly didn’t talk about his johnson the way she did.

“…are you actually telling me ‘no’?” said Tamora, looking very surprised.

“No ma’am– I mean, yes ma’am!” Felix insisted. “Even if you ask for it, and even if you say it’s all right… it’s disrespectful! I can’t say those things to you. You deserve so much better than that.”

It went silent for a few moments, and a strange look started to show on Tamora’s face. She seemed to be holding in a laugh, but her eyes held no malice or mocking intention. The way her brow creased and her smile widened made Felix think of a look someone would get when they saw a particularly cute and fluffy animal. …it was a very odd expression to see on her features, that much was for sure.

“I… sweetheart, are you… feeling okay?” Felix asked hesitantly. “I’m sorry I can’t-”

An unmistakable _squeal_ erupted from Tamora’s mouth, and she wrapped her arms snugly around Felix’s back, crushing him to her chest.

“ _God_ , you’re cute,” she said, planting a kiss on his cheek. “I don’t think you could say a bad thing if you tried.”

“I-it’s not really in my programming, no,” said Felix. “…and I can think of other things that I could say to you that are so much nicer! Same intention, but… nothing so crass.”

“Oh?” said Tamora, loosening her hold on him. “What would you say?”

What would he say? Oh, jiminy, what didn’t he want to say to her? He wanted to tell her how beautiful she was, how he marveled at her strength and her ability to command, the way her smile and laugh made his heart want to burst… Felix had been so hopelessly in love with her from the start, and he found it difficult to pick just one thing when he wanted to express how he felt. But, considering their current situation, he could think of a few things that were appropriate.

“Well,” he began, placing his palms flat on either side of Tamora’s chest. “I’d say that you’re the most wonderful gal that this arcade’s ever seen, and that every time you get me so… so hot and bothered-”

Tamora’s hands were getting busy with him again.

“-of course I want to make love to you. Every time I try, I can only hope to make you feel like you’re on top of the world!”

He sat back against Tamora’s thighs and shimmied his pants down further, giving her better access.

“I don’t have the most impressive hardware, but…”

A finger pressed to his lips, silencing him.

“I read you loud and clear, soldier,” said Tamora. “And don’t put yourself down. This hammer might not be gold, but it sure can hit the right spot.”

Felix couldn’t help but laugh and smile. His chest puffed up slightly, proud he’d left such a positive impression. The sexual aspect of their relationship was still new, so hearing that he wasn’t as slow on the recovery as he’d thought was a nice boost to his ego.

“So come on, let’s get to it. I need a little fixin’.”

Tossing aside clothing wasn’t a luxury offered in the relatively small pilot’s seat, forcing Tamora to pool her cargo pants around her ankles. Felix, grateful for his small stature in the cramped space, could easily settle between her thighs. It was a tight fit, but nothing he couldn’t work with. He’d been prepared to warm her up, but as he sat back on his knees, he saw that no such attention was necessary.

“My goodness, Tamora,” he said. “I guess you were busy…”

The sergeant shrugged, a cocky grin on her face. “Did a little routine maintenance before you got here.”

While that was an enticingly pleasant mental image, Felix had to focus. He set one hand on her firm stomach, and the other around the base of his shaft. Teasing her would’ve been his next step, but Tamora was getting impatient. She pulled him forward with the back of her calves and the action forced him inside her, all the way up to the hilt. Immediately that intoxicating feeling of skin on skin washed over him, and he let out a shaky breath. Though it hadn’t bothered him at the time, he wondered now how he managed to go so many years without this kind of physical love. He blushed just thinking about it.

Deciding to start slow and sweet, Felix struck up a steady rhythm. Moving his hands to Tamora’s thighs gave him better leverage, and a place to give an affectionate kiss when he turned his head. Not long after he started, he received a gentle nudge from her leg. ‘Go faster,’ her expression read. He complied, and heard a satisfied ‘ah’ above him. Leaning forward, he pushed the bottom of her shirt out of the way to press a kiss into her stomach. He couldn’t quite reach her face whenever they were in this position, making it difficult to give her the attention she deserved.

“Give a kiss up top,” said Tamora, tapping Felix’s shoulder and motioning at her mouth.

Felix withdrew to reach her, and held the kiss for several long moments. Tamora moved down from his mouth to his neck, and there she sucked on his flesh. Thinking of the embarrassing mark it would no doubt leave behind, Felix considered stopping her, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. He’d have to find something in his closet with a higher collar, though. Enjoyable or not, he wasn’t going to let everyone see evidence of their intimate moments together.

Just as that thought passed through his mind, a low hiss met his ears and a cold blast of air struck his bare back. He yelped and jerked his head up to see what had caused the disturbance, and felt all the color drain from his face.

The canopy was open.

“Oh, shit, that’s definitely not a runaway cy-bug!”

“I wondered why it was all steamed up.”

Felix was mortified. Outside the shuttle were some of the soldiers in Tamora’s platoon, they’d just popped the hatch on their private party.

“Can it, Green!” shouted Tamora, her face suddenly bright red.

“Hey, that’s the little guy! Damn, sarge, get some!”

“I SAID SHUT IT, JENKINS! Get your sorry asses to the barracks before I stick your rifles where the sun don’t shine! I’ll shove those clips so far down your throats, you’ll be shitting bullets for a week!” 

In the sergeant’s haste to make herself decent, Felix was shoved to the floor, where he also made a sloppy attempt to cover himself. He could hear the soldiers snickering as they retreated, their pace quickened by Tamora threatening to pull her sidearm on them. He remained in his spot until she returned to the pilot’s chair.

“…sorry I pushed you,” said Tamora, glaring at the inactive panels in the shuttle.

“It’s all right,” said Felix. “You didn’t mean it.”

Tamora’s head hit the seat backing, and she growled, frustrated. “Those idiots… I didn’t think they’d actually come nosing around.”

“You did say there was a chance,” Felix reminded her. “Guess we weren’t so sneaky after all.”

“No,” she sighed. “I guess not.”

Felix sat there, unsure of what to say next. The air in the shuttle had gone from sensual to unbelievably awkward in less than three seconds, and it was very uncomfortable. He glanced up at Tamora for a cue, but she just sat there looking terribly embarrassed. Frowning, Felix climbed up to stand on the edge of the pilot’s seat, then kissed her cheek. She smiled and peered at him out of the corner of her eye.

“Don’t look so down,” said Felix. “It’s just a snag. We’ll take care of this in a jiffy later.”

“Guess this joy ride’s over, then?” said Tamora. She half-heartedly caressed the open fly of his jeans with the back of her finger.

Felix stared down between his legs, guilty. “Sorry, sugar pie. Got a little too spooked by your troopers. The heart’s willing, but…”

“I understand. Later.”

She kissed his lips sweetly, and after doing up their pants, they hopped out of the shuttle. Felix wasn’t looking forward to the ache in his pelvis that would soon rear its ugly head, but right now, he didn’t have much choice. He’d just have to make it back to the penthouse and wait for Tamora, or take care of it himself. He strongly preferred the former, but wouldn’t refuse the latter. Unfortunately for him, however, leaving the hangar unspotted was more difficult than Felix hoped, and a loud wolf whistle made him flinch. Two of Tamora’s soldiers were approaching him, followed by a handful more.

“Hey, shortstack! C’mon, let’s get a round at Tapper’s. Your drink’s on us.”

-

That one drink had since become several, with not one, but three large empty mugs in front of the tiny handyman. He’d decided that he wasn’t nearly drunk enough for the amazingly invasive questions the troopers were throwing at him, and the only way to cope was to fry a brain cell or two. The soldiers were more than happy to supply the poison, shouting for another round.

“Where’s all that booze going?” Felix heard one of the soldiers ask as he set down the fourth mug.

“I dunno, but I’m down twenty bucks already. Markowski said he couldn’t even hold one, but here we are.”

Despite his better judgment and the admittedly painful aching in his groin, Felix was starting to enjoy the spontaneous get-together. Sure, he wanted to go home to the penthouse and spend the evening with Tamora, but it’d been some time since he last let his darn near angelic inhibitions go.

“I’m… I’m not gonna tell you anythin’ more ‘bout me and Tammy,” said Felix, shaking his head. “S’none’a your business.”

“Aw, what!” complained another soldier, probably the youngest of the group. “Why not?”

“Because I’m right behind you, meathead.”

All of the troopers immediately snapped to attention as Tamora marched her way through the crowd. She stopped behind Felix’s barstool, setting a hand on her hip. Felix blinked a few times and leaned back against the counter to look up at her face, and a smile parted his lips.

“Oh! It’sshyou, honeybunch. These fellas ain’t so bad hafterall,” he slurred.

He tried to reach out for her, but instead wobbled right off of his stool. Tamora held out her arms to catch him, and Felix couldn’t stifle a giggle that bubbled up in his throat. The sergeant rolled her eyes and protectively cradled Felix in her arms.

“You’re gonna regret this in the morning,” she mumbled.

“Are we leavin’? Awww…”

Felix was a bit too far gone to see her do it, but Tamora shot some very vicious glares to her troopers before heading towards the door. He instead opted for a sloppy kiss on her cheek, and hooked an arm around her neck.

“IIIII’ve got the honeysticks for you, sweet peaches,” Felix continued to garble, clearly beyond the point of forming a proper flirt.

“I don’t know how you knocked back all that booze, soldier, but… color me impressed,” said Tamora. She looked like she meant it.

“M’not a lightweight, Tammy.” Felix dug into his pocket and produced a bundle of twenty dollar bills. “Jak- …Jank– _Jenkins_ bet I couldn’t do it.”

“My soldiers bet on you?” blurted Tamora, now seemingly on the edge of laughter.

“Mhmm.”

She kissed his forehead. “You’re drunk.”

“Mm _hm_.”

“And we’re going home.”

“A’righty.”

“To bed.”

Felix giggled excitedly.

“Not for that,” Tamora corrected him.

“But… it still hurts, Tammy,” whined Felix, crossing his legs tight.

“I know it does. I’m not feeling so great, either. But I’m not about to have sex with someone so drunk that he can’t walk straight.”

Felix couldn’t really argue with that. He pouted and flopped lazily back into Tamora’s arms, gazing up at her face. Her amused and exasperated smile was the last thing he remembered before slipping into blackness.

-

There was no real ‘morning’ in Niceland, but right now Felix was hating absolutely everything about it and being awake. Somehow he’d wound up in the roomy bed, and the shades on the windows were drawn. The left side of the bed was messy and undone, hinting that Tamora had already come and gone. His head was splitting, and he felt like clawing at his face. How could he have been so stupid to drink with Tamora’s soldiers? They were marines! They were tough, and they were gritty. They could handle four pints of ale and get back up to shoot more cy-bugs in the morning. Felix… not so much.

“Ugh,” he mumbled into his palms. “Jiminy jaminy… I am never doing that again.”

“Learn your lesson?”

Felix bolted upright, startled by Tamora’s voice- and then immediately dropped back down, muttering ‘ow’ over and over again. Something freezing cold was dropped onto his head, and he yelped pathetically. It was an ice pack, graciously provided by Tamora. She sat down on her side of the bed, arms crossed over her chest. She said nothing, only giving Felix a very smug stare.

“Bet you’ll think twice before you go drinking with the boys, won’t you?”

“Yes, sweetie… owww.”

Tamora chuckled. “Good thing the arcade’s closed today.”

“It is?”

“No.”

Felix pulled the ice pack away from his face to stare crossly at her.

“That’s not funny, Tamora.”

“Them’s the breaks, babe. You’ve still gotta fix it, and I’ve still gotta shoot it.”

If a kiss could ever be described as sarcastic, that was what this one felt like. Felix wanted to be mad at her, but couldn’t bring himself to be. Her teasing was too cute, and this mess was her troopers’ faults, not hers. Tamora turned on her heel and retrieved her armor from the floor.

“See you after work, Felix.”

Felix wasn’t one to wish harm on anyone, but today… he really hoped a cy-bug got the drop on them.

**Author's Note:**

> This one is definitely my favorite of the batch, and a lot of folks thought similarly back when I originally posted it. There's some [great fanart](http://fafafixit.tumblr.com/post/36557085653/so-this-is-a-scene-straight-out-of-131-dis-nsfw) for this, too, so please enjoy that.


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